Prison Laugh o' the Day

Conversation between Mintern and myself today:

Mintern *re-classifying books*: "OMG, HOW do I get the spine labels to print??"
Me: "You have to use the spine label template I emailed you a while back. The file has that exact name."
Mintern: "I have that, but how do you get them to go into the template?"
Me: "You copy and paste them!"
Mintern: "I did that and it puts them all on one!"
Me: "You have to do it one at a time."
Mintern: *facepalm* "I quit!"

Hahaha. That's prison for ya!

Until next time!

It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMAS!

Hello readers, and Happy Holidays!  I was sitting in my kitchen tonight, making some holiday cookies for our work potluck ("Please do not eat raw cookie dough" the package said...Ha! Not only did I eat the raw cookie dough, I COVERED IT IN SPRINKLES.  #WinningAtChristmas) and I realized I have never written a Christmas blog, which is something that is long overdue because the holidays are a time in prison where the creativity really comes out.

During December, most people are busy decorating their homes with lights, hanging stockings, and buying presents.  In prison, there are still Christmas trees, although they are made with toilet paper cores and typically don't last much longer than the next count time because holiday decorations are contraband.  One of my clerks was complaining that she had THREE of her Special Toilet Paper Roll Christmas Trees taken in shakedowns (by The Grinch, to hear her tell it haha) and all I could think was "HOW DID YOU GET THAT MUCH TOILET PAPER???"   She also claimed that the staff were taking them to decorate their own homes because they were so awesome.  In addition to that being against the rules, how cool could they really be?  Although you do never know.  I have seen some pretty amazing creations in prison, and not just the paper mache di--....Um...this is a Christmas blog so I am not going to go there right now lol.

Another really awesome thing we do in prison is decorate the library.  One year during the Winter Reading Program the clerks made some intricate snowflakes using the patterns in this book and I loved them so much, I laminated all of them so we could hang them from the ceiling tiles year after year.  (A few years after I started doing that, I read in the rules that absolutely nothing was supposed to be hung from the ceiling....oops...)  We also put red paper Santa hats on EVERYTHING, and we put a really big one on the giant alien picture that one of our clerks drew that was supposed to hang on the wall during Supernatural Month but ended up being a year-round decoration.  (It also has a shamrock hat for St. Patrick's Day, a heart hat for Valentine's Day, a pirate hat for Talk Like a Pirate Day...ok I made that last one up but you can bet it will have one in September if that clerk still works there then.)

Because so many of my patrons have kids at home, our reading program is REALLY popular at Christmas.  It's good though, because the moms get to send their kids a present with their voice or face, and the kids get early childhood literacy, so it's a win-win!  Another way parents in prison can get their kids presents is through the Angel Tree program.  When I was little and used to go to church, my mom, sister and I would pick a child's name off the Angel Tree and buy them some presents and some warm clothes.  It was a great way for my mom to instill the value of giving and not just receiving during the holidays, although maybe she did it too well because now I get so excited to give people presents I want them to open them NOW. ;-)  I never realized until I started working in prison that those gifts were for children of incarcerated parents.  It's a great program for the kids, but seeing it from the other side and the sense of entitlement that the women had when they were talking about signing all their kids up for Angel Tree...it just made me wish they were a little more humble about it and thankful that people would go out of their way to help their children have a good Christmas.  Instead, it was more like they were owed this opportunity and people would FLIP OUT about how unfair it was if they missed the deadline to submit the info to the Case Managers.  But, the kids can't help how the parents are, and they shouldn't suffer because of their parent's poor life choices, so, dear readers, if you see an Angel Tree anywhere and you can spare some extra money, please consider helping out.

And no matter what holiday you are celebrating (or not celebrating) this time of year, may you have many blessings and may this upcoming new year be your best one yet.

Until next time!

Censorship update

Greetings, fearless readers!  I wanted to give you an update to a blog post that I wrote in 2013 about censorship ridiculousness.  Please note, it is almost 2016.  Do you remember the good ol' C Encyclopedia?   The one we had to pull because it had stuff about codes that people might use to make even more sophisticated codes, because the higher-ups haven't gotten the memo that we don't censor something based on what someone *might* do with it?  Yeah, that encyclopedia is STILL on the review shelf in the office.  Honestly, it is probably out of date by now and should be weeded.  *SIGH*  Do you see what I mean about things not happening quickly in prison?  I kind of feel like we should start taking bets on how long it will take to make a decision on if we can just take that article out and put the rest of the C information back out for people.  I am going to put my money on FOREVER.  Any takers?  Haha.

Until next time! 

So...how did you end up in prison?

Hello everyone!  Tonight's topic is one that always makes me laugh and that is answering the follow-up questions you get when you tell people you are a prison librarian.  I have covered this topic before in the post about fun with telling people you want to prison, and also how to make polite conversation about prison, but people seldom read blogs word for word, or if they do they might forget, so here it is again. :-)

Probably the most common question I get is: "So....how did you end up in prison?"  The truth is, I ended up in prison completely by accident and it was all my best librarian friend's fault because she sent me the job link and said, "I think you should apply!  I see this job open all the time!"  Ha, that should have been our first sign!  Anyway... I am glad I did end up there though because everything happens for a reason, and if I didn't go to prison I probably would have just kept bartending and wishing I had a job in my field, and I wouldn't have gotten this amazing life-changing experience and I would not have had enough character because when I was little and I didn't want to do something my mom would tell me I should do it anyway because "It builds character."  When I got older I told her I had enough character, thankyouverymuch, but now that I am even older, I am finally at the age where I realize that my mom was right. :-)

The second most common question I get is, "Are you scared?" followed closely by, "Do you have a gun?"  The answer to both is no.  No, I am not scared because I have built a good rapport with staff and patrons and I have laid down the law enough times that people know I am not one of those staff that can be manipulated.  And no, I don't have a gun because they are not allowed, and that would be so terrible if an inmate was able to take my gun away and shoot me with it.  After switching to professional dress, I don't even carry a radio or OC anymore, and I am ok with that.

The next most popular question is, "Do you watch Orange is the New Black?"  Also, no.  I read the book and thought it was interesting, and I chose to ignore the part where Piper gives detailed instructions about how to steal chicken from the chow hall because I believe in intellectual freedom a little bit more than the restrictive censorship rules, but I watched one and a half episodes on Netflix and decided to stop because I didn't like the way staff was portrayed in the series.  To be fair, one of the wardens I know actually met her and said the same thing about the series I did and he said she apologized and explained that it was the show producers making it like that for dramatic effect.  The one thing I do like about that show though is that it humanizes the prison population, and reminds people on the outside that offenders are actually so much more than just their crime or their DOC number.

Whenever I meet non-prison librarians, they will ask what our collection looks like.  Many people think offenders have different reading habits and are very surprised when they hear that prison library patrons' reading tastes are the same as yours and mine.  We need to give them the opportunity to read for themselves, because if we censor all the things, how are they going to learn to make decisions for themselves about what is good for them?  People naturally want to do what other people tell them they can't, so if a prison bans Robert Greene or Laurell K. Hamilton because they don't like the "unsavory" content, they are actually not doing their offenders any favors.

Until next time!

Professional prison librarian job, apply by December 21

Hello readers!

Here is a great opportunity for a professional prison librarian position that pays well and is in a town where the cost of living is low:

Librarian II--Canon City, CO

However, you have to be a resident of Colorado, so if you are (or can be)-APPLY!

This prison's gone to the cats and dogs!

Greetings, loyal followers!  Today, the topic is everyone's favorite thing: cute animals!  Many prisons use animals for therapy and as a way of teaching offenders a useful skill to ensure a positive re-entry.  My prison has a dog program (as you may remember from the story about the dog we were going to hire to help with our weeding haha) and my HB and I have decided that our next dog will definitely come from prison.  The patrons have really been hitting up Mintern because they think she needs a dog too haha.

Here are some websites, in case you are interested in getting a prison dog too:

Prison Pet Partnership- Washington. Provides service dogs for people with disabilities, grooming and boarding and Parolled Pets who didn't quite make it as a service dog but are still in need of a good home.  Also they have cats too!

Dawgs in Prison-Florida.  8 week training sessions to get rescued dogs ready for their forever home.

4 Paws for Ability- Ohio.  Trains assistance dogs for children worldwide.

America's Vet Dogs- Massachusetts, Maryland, Connecticut, and Florida.  Train dogs to work with America's wounded veterans.  Few things pull at my heartstrings more than dogs who help wounded veterans.  

Colorado Cell Dogs- Colorado.  Prison trained service animals and pets.  

Until next time! 

Amazing program at a prison library

Hello dear readers, and Happy December!  I was Googling around about prison libraries a while back and came across this amazing program that was hosted by Denver Women's Correctional Facility in Colorado: http://community.malala.org/malala-makes-surprise-visit-to-malala-book-club-at-high-security-priso-1215466626.html.

Now, THIS is an example of using your resources!  Malala was already in Denver for a speaking engagement, so what a fantastic idea to see if she would be willing to speak at the prison library too!  The fact that they made it around a book club for her book I am Malala is inspired, and genius!  I can see why Colorado has their reputation of one of the top prison library systems in the country.

Well done, everyone!  Thank you for being an example of being fearless and creative.  Remember, future prison librarians, it never hurts to ask for what you want because what's the worst they could say?  No?  And then if that is the case you are the same as when you started and if they say yes, then you have possibly the best program that has ever been offered in a prison library.  Although good luck making your next book club as cool. ;-)

Until next time!